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Author Topic: The Wannabe - a short short  (Read 173 times)
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« on: January 13, 2018, 07:00:41 pm »

So here is a short short subject I wrote a few years ago. It's not a serious story. It's just for fun. Please give me feedback. Don't worry, I can take it if you are kind about it. Jajaja!  tehe I hope it's not against forum rules. If so, Mods  sorry

The screen opens with a shot of the title of the short subject displayed in large letters:

                                           THE WANNABE

Then the camera opens with a shot of a short, overweight, but attractive Mexican-American woman.  She is wearing her security officer uniform and she is trying to intimidate the passers-by and everyone else she sees with her very presence. She is also trying to impress them but fails miserably to do so.  Security Officer Rojas is swaying her massive hips back and forth in her sexy sway whilst keeping her right hand on her gun at her side.  Keeping her hand on her gun is expressly forbidden in the security industry.  It is an act of intimidation and quite insulting to people.  But Security Officer Rojas just doesn’t care even though the patrons of the mall make it quite obvious they do not appreciate the rude intimidation tactic.  Officer Rojas feels it makes her a strong woman and a proud one so she does it anyway.

Rojas (to no one in particular and yet to everyone around):
“That’s right.  This is my sexy sway.”

Rojas purses her lips and smiles broadly to herself.  Rojas greatly admires the woman she is and it shows.  Passers-by laugh out loud at Rojas.  Rojas isn’t deterred one bit.

“That’s right, haters!”

Several woman look at her and laugh into their hands.  They are finding the behaviour of the security officer in their local mall quite comical.

Woman One (to her friend; loud enough for Rojas to hear):

Woman Two:
“Did you see that?  OMG!!!”

“That’s right, that’s right!”

Woman One:
“I want to un-see it!!!”

The two women laugh and walk away.  Rojas gets defensive as usual.

"H8ter alert! H8ter alert!!”

Woman One:
“What an idiot!”

Rojas (tightly grasping gun with her hand; shouting):
“Keep walking, girlies, keep it moving!  Little Twits! Don’t understand what being a woman is really all about! (Looking one of the women up and down with disdain) Looking at that I need a can of brain bleach!  Ewww!”

Rojas wrinkles her nose while talking to the two women and to others who are walking by and are within earshot.  The two women are shocked and laugh at Rojas.

Man One:
“Is she really holding her gun?”

Woman Three (whispering loud enough for Rojas to hear):
“I hope it’s not loaded…”

Man One (shaking head):
“What an idiot!”

Rojas (to Man One):
“That’s right!  You couldn’t handle all this!!!”

Rojas rubs her hands all over her body especially her huge stomach.  The man and woman laugh and walk away.  Others are looking and laughing.  Patrons want to walk away but like a bad car accident they are strangely and strongly attracted to the disaster and want to see what will happen next so no one really goes far from the scene.  Many are shocked by the very public display of idiocy by the commissioned security officer.  An officer who is at present armed to the teeth with a gun, a can of pepper spray and a baton.

“That’s right people, keep it moving, keep it moving!  I will have no bull on MY WATCH!!!”

Rojas next begins her patrol of the mall.  On her way to the sporting goods store to check out a light she believes is broken she spots an old time barber shop complete with striped red and white pole.

Rojas (sees a broken light; takes out her baton and taps her left hand repeatedly):
“Well, well, what’s this?”

Rojas walks in for a closer inspection.  She holsters her baton and takes out her small spiral notebook to write up an incident report.

Rojas (to herself but making a very public display of it):
“My first incident of the day!  Gotcha!”

Woman Three:
“I wonder what she’s going to do next.”
Rojas believes she is being watched and admired not eye hustled and mocked.  As Rojas walks closer to the window she spots the old time barber shop.

Rojas (suddenly excited):
“Well!  What’s this?!!?”

Rojas has the nerve to actually throw her notebook and pen into the air and run towards the pole.  

“I know this!  I know this!!!”

Rojas pulls out a small bottle of glitter and quickly glitters her hair.  Passers-by are astounded at what they are seeing.  Most laugh and gawk.  A small crowd has immediately formed with more following suit.  Several of the gawkers even take out their mobiles to take pictures and video.  Some use their handy phones to notify the authorities.

Rojas begins swinging her massive form around the pole.  

Woman Four (in total disbelief; laughing hysterically):

Rojas (not getting the picture; serious):
“Thank you!”

That comment delights the crowd.  Rojas begins strutting stiff legged around the pole but still thinks herself quite grand.

Rojas (smug):
“I call this my sexy walk.”

With that she turns her back to the crowd and bends over in full view of the people.  The crowd gasps in horror.  Rojas thinks they are appreciating her dancing.

Rojas (delirious and delusional; referring to her dancing):
“Thank you.  My services don’t come cheap!”

Man Two:
“Wanna bet!”

The crowd laughs while parting for the uniformed police officers to restrain the woman they should be able to count on to assist them, not make a mockery of law enforcement and the security profession with her outrageous stunts.

“Oh, no! I used to be a dancer at a titty bar!”

The crowd laughs, Rojas continues to swing around the pole.  The pole bends sharply under her weight making Rojas fall almost to the ground.

Teenage Boy One (with his chums):
“Oh, shoot!”

Police Officer One (laughing hysterically but trying not to):
“That’s enough!”

Police Officer Two (laughing just as hard; trying to break up the crowd):
“Okay, folks, back to business.  There’s nothing here to see.  Nothing at all.”

Teenage Boy One:
“Yes there is!  Yes there is!  This is great!”
Rojas struggles with Police Officer One.  Rojas grabs the small bottle of glitter and begins dusting her hair again. She also sprinkles the floor around her.  She prances about refusing to quit her routine.

“I did this in the Grand Finale of the Great Titty Bar Contest of the West!”

Police Officer One:
“You’re quite finished ma’am.”

“No I’m not.  I have 05 more minutes to go!  It’s show time!”

Woman One:
“Can we just gong her?”

Woman Two:
“Cancel her gig, perhaps?”

Teenage Boy One:
“Are you kidding me?!!?  I’m enjoying this!!”

Woman One (laughing and shaking her head):
“And that’s so not a good thing!”

The crowd laughs uproariously.  

Police Officer Two:
“Oh, shoot!”

Rojas begins singing far off key.

“I’m a Yankee doodle dandy, I’m a Yankee doodle Dan!”

Rojas is holding tight to the pole and is now shaking her bum at the police and at the crowd.

Police Officer Two:
“Don’t do that, ma’am.”

The inability of the police officers to control the out-of-control security officer is making the crowd at the mall fall over and even cry in hysterics.  The police officers also chase the security officer around the pole.  Rojas kicks up her legs as far as they can go even though that isn’t far at all.

“I’m a rockette!  I can dance!”

Teenage Boy One:
“I’m getting this on camera, man!”

Teenage Boy Two:
“Dude, we’re going to get a lot of hits when we upload this!”

Woman Five:
“You’re not kidding!”

The police have had enough.  They are now becoming quite stern with Rojas who is too far out of her mind and into her own reality of titty bar dancing to come down to reality.

“That’s right, titty bar extravaganza!  Come one, come all, come and see me dance in your local mall!”

Woman Five (sarcastic):
“Oh, please don’t!”

Rojas continues to try to swing and sashay around the pole which has now completely broken.  This snap and the ensuing struggle has sent Rojas and Police Officer One to the ground.

Police Officer One (to his partner who is laughing with the crowd and watching his comrade struggle):
“Do you mind?”

Police Officer Two:
“Not at all, not at all!  Ma’am you are under arrest…”

Rojas (continues to sing off key):
“I’m going to give you my love, my love, oooh, baby, baby!”

The two police officers tackle the delusional woman to the ground and cuff her behind her back.

Man One:
“Hog tie the titty dancer!”

“I can rap, too!”

Police Officer One:
“This is a wrap!”
“Oh, no it isn’t!  I still have a foxtrot-strut and my sexy dive to go!”

The crowd is in hysterics.  The two police officers laugh and struggle to maintain the security officer who continues to sing off key and struggle to dance.  She even begins doing the worm.

The End.

Thanks for reading flower Hi flower
« Last Edit: January 13, 2018, 07:06:53 pm by deGuernsey » Logged

Barnabe et Kitty...
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